I hereby announce that not only will I be married in an inflatable church, my firstborn will also be equipped from birth with a standard model’s worth of particle plush toys like that lovely Higgs boson to your right. Who knows, maybe I’ll even throw in a set of antiparticles, though I’m a bit worried about the welfare of the kid if the two sorts of particles get too close together.

I, meanwhile, will get myself this thing to cuddle with…